Meow 🐈

I found my people

For the past three years, immediately following my cycling trip from Nairobi to the coast of Kenya, I have attempted to undo becoming the most disgusting version of myself in Lamu, a tiny, traditional Swahili island located on the edge of the world that can only be described as magical.

There are swims in the Indian Ocean, long walks on the beach searching for sand dollars, 6 pm drinks and people-watching at Peponi’s, morning yoga at Banana House, sunset dhow cruises through the mangroves, twists and turns through carless streets, and 3 am floats. Reaching it from Diani requires a car ride, ferry, 26-seater airplane, and a boat taxi, and it’s so worth the trip. It’s quite possibly one of the better decisions I’ve made in my life, even if it is somewhat of an escape from adulting.

On this particular trip, I couldn’t help but notice the number of cats on the island. It’s not that they have eluded me in years past; it’s that we didn’t have much to connect over. But as soon as JD Vance besmirched our good names, we had plenty to discuss.

And you thought childfree women were your greatest enemy.

It’s quite difficult to explain his obsession. Yes, cats and childfree women are liberated and free, driven by the desire to do whatever we want, whenever we want to. We make our own rules, we break them when we feel like it, and you can never tell us what to do. While JD is trying to decide between a sectional or an English Arm Roll, we’re galavanting across the world, dipping in and out of dark alleys, living our best lives. We get it, you’re scared of us. And for good reason. We upset the system.

Childfree regret? Never heard of her.

The cat lady trope has a long history, from the Salem witch trials to the conversation I had with my besty Raquel a few months ago, in which she suggested I get an Apple watch specifically so I can use the tool that tracks forceful sudden stops, thereby sending a message to my emergency contact, alerting them to my fall that will certainly happen down the not-up-to-code stairs in my scary basement so send someone ASAP before the cats eat my face. Clearly I’m not mad about trending.

Is this brat?

All of this has really gotten me thinking about why childfree, single women and cats have gravitated toward one another throughout history:

1. One minute we want to be stroked behind the ears and scratched on our backs and the next we want you to get the fuck away from us. We all need our space and we’re not afraid to leave scars over it.

2. Our love language is leaving surprise presents on your doorstep that we’ve scavenged far and wide for all night. We consider our choices eclectic and acknowledge you might feel differently.

3. We’re both low maintenance. A few licks and pats and we’re sorted, ready to take on the day. Who knew we cleaned up so well?

4. No one knows if the noises that come out of mouths are out of pain or pleasure. It’s part of the appeal, isn’t it?

5. We’re both relatively indifferent to your feelings, which should be apparent from this list.

Licking my wounds over the life choices I’ve made? No sir, I’m cleaning up after a night out on the town.

I’m embracing this moment and doubling down on this crazy cat lady thing. It doesn’t matter to me that for most of my life, I’ve been somewhat anti-cat, believing they are really lions and tigers caught in small bodies, so angry over losing the genetic lottery that they’ll turn on you at any time. Embracing this so-called insult is another form of resistance, a refusal to allow men like JD Vance to control my body and my decisions.

I’m not so daft to believe the meaning-making behind childbearing is not significant for many women. I have been told being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. And I believe that to be true. But the inverse is as well: not having children is also an expression of our ability to attain deep meaning and purpose outside of motherhood. Whether you have children or don’t, want them or don’t, all women deserve better; we shouldn’t be made to feel small about the big life choices we make.

Please do me the honor of captioning this photo in the comments. If it’s helpful, this cat is digging a hole to take a shit, which really could add some color to your words.

In case you’re a bit worried, I did accomplish more than simply chasing cats down alleys while I was in Kenya, and I can prove it. I’m hosting a little presentation on August 28th about my trip and I promise to include photos of the wild animals one would hope to see in Africa. If you’d like to learn more about the cycling trips I run, Zawadisha, or Kenya, please join me by registering here.

Until next time…

xxoo,

Jen

Friends! Normally the comments are reserved for my paid subscribers, but this time they are open to everyone because I really want you to join in on the fun and help me caption the last—or any—of the photos :)