I did it
I'm not mad about it and you shouldn't be either
Just me and all my baggage getting ready for the long trip ahead…
Apologies for the late newsletter this week, but I ended up driving hours for dick on the day that I normally sit down to write Redefining Radical.
I realize that confessing to this could result in me losing my membership to the Radical Feminist Society. I did, however, manage to get myself home in time for a powder day, so ideally, that bit of redemption means that nothing will show up on my permanent record.
Here’s the thing, friends. If getting good dick wasn’t so difficult, I wouldn’t have to go to such extremes. It’s not that it’s hard to get dick, it’s that it’s hard to get good dick. All single, and likely some very sad partnered women, know this.
I say women because gay men do not suffer from bad dick the way we do, likely because there is no clitoris to contend with. The work is just easier. One would think this would lead more straight men to convert, but alas…
Now if you have sex with women, you’re going to have an orgasm 9 out of 10 times. Women, regardless of their sexuality, make more people orgasm than men. If Strava could track this, we’d get a Queen Of The Mountain every damn day. (This is where I’d insert my “How I’m going to turn Strava into a feminist app” joke or “It’s amazing I still fuck with men” joke, but I’ll leave them for another day.)
Back to my original point, I’d rather go without dick for months than spend my 25 spare minutes a week underneath some man who makes me feel like this. It’s not even safe to swipe right anymore. The chances of being disappointed are so high that I’d rather: 1) Masturbate to all of the naughty photos and videos that I quickly file away into my hidden album for safekeeping (I’ve had one too many close calls) until the stars align and 2) I spend my Sunday afternoon driving over a mountain pass for the ultimate reward of really good dick rather than writing this newsletter.
And before you roll your eyes at me and threaten to take to Twitter to punish me for the audacious double standard of “How does she get to say things like this when we can’t,” a gentle reminder that this is a problem you could solve.
So there you go friends, the truth about why this newsletter is so late. I’m still working on “Do You Woo?”, a surprising piece on why astrology is so important to me. (No one knew, just like that driving for dick thing, what can I say, I contain multitudes.)
Naughty But Nice Gift Guide
Since we’re in the prime holiday season, I thought I’d put together a little Naughty But Nice gift guide for all of you. (Who doesn’t love a little late-stage capitalism this time of year?) If you’re still reading and haven’t unsubscribed, then you’ll appreciate how I am continuing the theme of unapologetically spending valuable daylight hours pursuing pleasure.
Everything on this list is made by women and trans folks and will surely help you get through this holiday season and so many more to come.
While you were all figuring out how to bake the perfect sourdough loaf during the pandemic, I was working on how to have more and better orgasms. (Proof I’m persistent in my pursuits.) That’s how Après Delight, a CBD-infused intimacy oil, came to be. Not really a lube, Après is a coconut-oil-based product that enhances sensation and reduces discomfort during sex. Does it work? YES, DO YOU THINK I’D PEDDLE SOMETHING THAT WAS SHIT? It really is fabulous. Enjoy 20% off our sample and full-size bottles through the end of the year with the code RedefineMySexLife at checkout here.
The women at Dame design so many damn good vibrators that it is impossible to only pick one. So obvs I have a few but the Aer is my favorite. It’s like how you want him to be down there every time and you don’t have to feel bad about his tongue getting sore. You can shop their entire line here.
Che Che Luna is queer trans chicanx, certified sex educator, erotic artmaker, movement storyteller and sensual embodiment facilitator who is committed to building a more liberated world. I love their Instagram, their OnlyFans, you name it, I’m here for it.
Speaking of OnlyFans, you know we have one, right? It’s only $4.99 a month and it’s where we share all of our nudes. We haven’t really gotten into the ludes yet, but who knows what will happen in 2024.
I don’t wear lingerie that often, but when I do, it’s from Understatement. Have I cooked dinner it? Did the risotto almost burn? Both answers are yes, which proves just how good it is.
Since we had all of these hot nudes from our last photoshoot, we might as well make a calendar. So we did, and it’s sure to start 2024 off right. Get yours here with free shipping through the end of the year when you use the code 2024FLEX at checkout. (Note: if you want the uncensored shots, you’ll have to head on over to our OnlyFans.)
