Is it failure...
If there's something better waiting for you on the other side?
Today I was asked what I would do if I failed. It’s an interesting question because the possibility is ever looming. Depending upon what aspect of my life you’re referring to, it’s arguable that I fail every day in one way or another.
This week alone I’ve failed at:
Adulting: I slept under my mattress cover, on top of my bare mattress, twice because I couldn’t manage to get my sheets washed even though they were sitting in the washing machine waiting for me to press the button.
Relationships: Rather than taking the space that I need and adjusting my expectations to reality, I allowed myself to be in a situation again where I felt small.
Business: I will miss my October sales goals and I wish I had something witty to say about that but I don’t because too soon.
But each one of these failures led to something positive:
I engaged in difficult conversations that were long overdue and I walked away from a few of them feeling really good. The one that didn’t go so well? I reminded myself not to push on brick walls that don’t budge.
I reached out to friends and felt loved and cared for.
I imagined the future that I want and contemplated actionable steps that I could take to get there.
I’ve said this before, and it’s certainly not an original idea, but stopping allows you to start.
Failure is a stop. It might be slow, drawn out, painful, and perhaps even avoidable, but on the other side of it is something new. A start.
I feel confident in saying that, and here’s why: I’ve spent more than a decade working tirelessly on building relationships and building my skill set. There might be some things I need to shut down (like that annoying voice inside my head at 2:16 am in the morning), but I am confident that I can build something different when and if I need to.
I just need to have the courage to do it.
It can be so easy to carry on day after day, business as usual. But that ease oftentimes leads to great dissatisfaction in life. We’ve been sold this myth that when we “grow up” we’re supposed to have it all figured out. News flash: No one does.
Sometimes we fuck up and we fail. Sometimes the world fucks up and it fails us. It’s an exhausting roller coaster but we need to try to enjoy the ride. Part of that is knowing when to hang on and other times when to hop off, stroll around the amusement park with your head hanging low (and maybe between your knees), and come back for more once your stomach has settled.
So how did I answer that question earlier today about failing?
I walked the person through all of my options. And I have many. That saying “failure is not an option” is true, but only if you believe that failure is part of the process of figuring it all out.
What have you done in the last week or what will you do in the next that will help you see the other side of failure?